So, I’m not working much, might as well blog. The sucky economy could be a topic, but then I’d have to wonder why some big mucky-ups from Wall Street, along with their flunkies from Washington, aren’t doing some really hard time like they do with the lower wage swindlers they catch. But I suppose if that happens a lot of beans will get spilt and government as we know it will come to a grinding halt. Come to think of it, that might not be such a bad thing. It would be hell, but at least there’s a chance the hell would be more evenly distributed. I could talk about Christianity. But I’m just to embarrassed right now. Rallying around a fast food joint instead of the cross has not been one of our finer moments. How about politics? I’m sure that would go well. I’m beginning to wonder if the person most afraid of there being a black president is Obama. If it wasn’t for his color, you wouldn’t know it from his policies. And Mitt, the fact that he addressed his bulling of a gay classmate in high school as just kids being kids, do you really want an unrepentant bully as president? On second thought, I’d better just play it safe and not get my self in trouble. How about that Phelps.

Meanest Dog On The Block

I think the contemporary ensemble action movie, all be it on a larger scale, would be a good model to base our military on. First assemble the team. Remember, we have the whole United States, Puerto Rico, and the Philippines to choose our team from. At over four hundred million, that’s a pretty good pool to pick from. We can maybe have some kind of contest to figure out who’s the quarter million smartest, baddest people out there. I don’t know what the right number is? Maybe we could cut that down to a hundred and fifty thousand or so and then get another hundred thousand geek types for support people.

Then we train them. We get people like Lou Gossett Jr in An Officer and a Gentleman, Or like Jack Web from that old D.I. movie. You know; the grizzled veteran, the tough as nails sergeant, the one that acts like the meanest sob on the planet but deep down loves his boys and is just trying to keep them alive when they get in the thick of it. And by boys I’m not saying anything about gender here. If Angelina Jolie is any indication, chicks can be every bit as bad ass as guys. And don’t forget all those school-of-hard-knocks convicts secretly waiting for the chance to prove themselves for God and Country.

Then we supply them. I mean this is the United States of America. We can buy the best stuff. We can buy the baddest, the toughest stuff. And if we can’t buy it we can damn well buy who ever we have to buy to make it. I mean we pull out all the stops. We give them all the James Bond Q shit we can come up with.

Next we get the transportation up and running so they’re ready to go at a moment’s notice. I mean these guys are more than ready. They just need time for the drinkers to sober up and recover from their bonding bar fights. They can do that on the transports.

We got guys like that and eventually word’s going to get out we’re the meanest dog on the block. We can come up with some cheesy motto like, “We don’t start fights, we end them,” or, “Mess with us and we’ll kick your ass.” They can carry that Texas “Don’t Tread On Me” coiled rattlesnake flag.

We can talk about the spy section later.

Foreign Policy

I suppose I have to have a foreign policy. I wouldn’t call myself an isolationist, but I’m close. It’s just not polite to impose my will on anybody else; in fact, it’s rather rude and tends to generate hostility. I’m all for responding to someone’s need for help if they ask and I have the means to provide it. I’m all for speaking truthfully about what I think. I’m not for being the world’s blowhard telling everybody the best way to do things.

If someone punches me in the face, my tendency is to usually act in a manner consistent to self-preservation. Usually. I have been known to act in a way to make damn sure said attacker never wants to do it again. I guess it’s about making the punishment fit the crime. So I think we over reacted to 9/11. We should have been more patient, focused precisely on Osama and his crew, and ground them into the dust. The best I can say about Iraq is we won the war and lost the peace. I think it didn’t fool anybody we didn’t admit it was at least partly about oil.

I think we probably did the right thing in Libya.

About Israel and the Palestinians, a friend is a friend, but a real friend tells you the truth, a friend tells you when you’re screwing up. From my point of view we haven’t been a real friend to Israel. Not saying you can take this literally, but just because your neighbor is an ass doesn’t mean you should be one too.

France is just like us. They think they’re better than everybody else, too. That's never going to be pretty.

I believe in fair trade, in paying a reasonable amount for a reasonable return. I don’t think we should bully anybody into giving us a deal. I also don’t believe in letting someone strong arm or guilt us into paying more than something is worth. If we are guilty and owe reparations, that’s a whole-nuther-thing.

I don’t believe in the practice of dumping, selling toxic shit we’ve banned here to third world countries. Similarly, if an American companies dose something outside our borders we wouldn’t let them do here they should be subject to prosecution as if they did it here. Same goes for American owned companies.

So that’s a start. I realize if I’m intending on shaking up the status quo a lot of people aint going to like it so it won’t be a cake walk.

Disgruntled Voters Unite

When someone looks for a job for a long time and can’t find a decent one and they give up and quit looking, the're referred to as a discouraged worker. Well, I’m pretty much a discouraged voter. I would like to vote for someone but I can’t really stomach any of the horses in the race.

I didn’t vote for a long time. Not counting the last election, the last guy I voted for president was Barry Commoner and the only thing I knew about him he was an ecologist. It’s very discouraging when all you have to go on is talking heads reporting on which horse is in the lead and which one was bringing up the rear. I used to say I was voting no.

Then last time along comes this guy making promises sounding like what I’ve been waiting to hear for a long time. I don’t know? Maybe it wasn’t his fault, not all of it, maybe not even most of it. It’s not like I was expecting a lot. But I did expect something different. That’s what was promised, right? Well, we got change all right. It got worse. A lot worse. It’s like a bad SNL comedy sketch.

Now, before all you on the right get ahead of yourselves, the change I was looking for was for somebody to stand up and start telling the truth, someone concerned more about fixing the rather significant problems we face as a country and as a world more than they care about getting elected, reelected, padding their pockets, or spouting some BS from one party line or the other. But all we get is spin. So maybe no was the right vote to begin with? The problem is politicians either aren’t getting the message or, more likely, they know exactly what the country thinks and they’re putting their spin on the fact that less than half the country doesn’t bother.

A side note here to the media; you have been acting like total chicken shits. Quit acting like some of the whacked ideas out there have some kind of validity. Go after real stories. Let us know what these guys really believe and if the record is in line with their claims. Quit being so politically correct and report the damn news.

So, anyway, what I propose is a vote that counts, that’s heard loud and clear, that these jokers can’t talk their way out of. I’m talking about a vote of no. Say no to the idea we’re forced to choose one side of the coin or the other. Say no to the idea the more money and power you have the more right you have to speak and be heard. Say no to the idea that to be president you only have to want it bad enough and come up with enough money to buy it.

To that end, I declare I am starting the party of no. No more bull. No more super-pacs. No more influence peddling. No more business as usual. Vote no and make your no finally count.

Why not? What do you have to lose?

Now that Mitt has been grudgingly declared the front runner for the republicans and nobody else seems to want to run on the democratic side I am officially shrugging my shoulders and throwing my hat into the ring under the platform of, “Why not? What do you have to lose? I can’t be much worse than any of these other Bozos.”

My campaign promises are to put people back to work with something like the CCC or the WPA. Not going whole hog on high speed rail is pretty asinine. Our rail system needs to be completely rebuilt any way. That and everybody knows our bridges and national infrastructure is falling apart. If we decide to fix that, that’s got to be hell of a lot of jobs waiting on somebody. I’ll create an infrastructure tsar with a limited number of people under him to make sure the money is not wasted on some over bloated bureaucracy.

Speaking of money I will institute an income disclosure policy where all government employees and affiliates will be required to accurately report their income. There will be some kind of reasonable cap on their incomes. Anybody caught violating this rule will be fired.

I further promise to put some people at the top of the financial industry and, if applicable, the people charged with watching out for that shit who looked the other way will be in jail for a long time. I will do away with the idea that corporations are people.

Something has got to be done about tax fairness. I’m not sure what but the mega rich and giant corporations paying next to nothing will end.

I promise not to pretend global warming isn’t real, no matter what caused it, or engage in any other spurious debates like the birther crap.

I promise to restrict the house and senate to live with the health care they pass for everybody else. That’s my wife's idea.

I know there’s a lot of other things all screwed up so I promise to surround myself with other people from the appropriate fields a lot smarter than me to begin to figure out what the hell we can do to fix some of it.

Finally in full discloser, I have plenty of skeletons in various closets so if you’re looking for somebody squeaky clean it aint me, but I’ll leave the doors open and you’re free to look around. My wife also likes to decorate so she’s going to change some things in the white house. She's got great taste and design sense but it’s not going to be cheap.

Dog gets a bone

Republican millionaires condescended today to allow 160 million American workers a twenty dollar a week pay raise. They also grudgingly agreed not to cancel unemployment benefits of three hundred dollars a week to a further two million. From their posh offices they agreed they were under great political pressure to stop their assault on the American worker and throw the poor slobs a bone.

The president and the rest of the democrats were overjoyed with their rare piddling victory even though it was handed to them by the republican senate who seem to be close to having had it up to here with the fanatics from the so-called tea party. The president and his party seem grateful for whatever scraps they can grab as do the fraudulently named middle class after getting thrown out on their ears in droves.

Meanwhile the richest Americans don’t know what all of the fuss is about. With the size of their paychecks, bonuses, dividends, and stock options they find it hard to believe some of it isn’t trickling down to the shit shovelers. If power wealth and prestige was available to everybody what kind of country would this be?

A letter of thanks

I would like to take the opportunity in this special time of the year to express my thanks to the elected officials in Washington, especially to the republican side of the isle in The House of Representatives, for the concern and care you take for my personal welfare in such a holistic manner. In these days when so many are swayed by the uniformed opinion of the great unwashed masses it is with great appreciation I observe how from your exalted positions you do not bow to the uniformed pressures of your constituency. I understand with the great concerns of state you have little time to concern yourselves with the petty difficulties of the huddled masses and I hope our tribulations do not dampen your spirits as you jet home for the holidays.

I would also like to commend the Godly values you whole heartily encourage and support in me personally. I am mindful of James 1: 2-4, how much you are directly responsible for increasing my faith and ensuring I am “lacking in nothing.” Indeed, what good does a full belly do if I “lose my soul.” Take solace, especially, you men and women of the faith. Your Father in heaven is watching your deeds with great interest. If I can paraphrase Matthew 25:45, as much as you do to the least of these, you do to ME.

So again thank you very much. We all know how hard you are working and can see where your priorities lie. I am sure proper appreciation will be expressed come next November. A very special holiday greeting to you all.

Sincerely
Michael Lipuma