The agony of defeat

Well, other people know about my blog. I've told them. So here I am making my third entry because I didn't have the patience to wait for a comment. I had this idea of the comments fueling the next blog, of the honest heartfelt interaction generating a shared experience resulting in a betterment and spiritual healing that comes with the understanding and acceptance in knowing one is not alone and there is something bigger than oneself at work in the blogosphear.

This, however, requires actual comments. So sans comments (did I use the term "sans" right. I was trying to say, "Seeing I did not receive any comments..." ) I am forced to write a new entry with no input, good or bad, from any body else.

In other words, my blog is suffering under the illusion it is an autonomous blog, totally self generated. This is bad. It risks becoming a self serving narcissistic endeavor having impact on nothing and nobody.

I, on the other hand, am perfectly able to delude myself that though I have received no comments, it is possible, even reasonable to assume, by blog is being read. I myself have read blogs and left no comment. I am even capable of imagining conversations.

"Hey, have you seen Mike's blog?

"Mike's got a blog?"

"Yeah. It's okay. You know."

"What ever."

Okay, no. That is not the kind of conversation I want to imagine. I want to imagine one with the words stimulating and thoughtful and can't wait to read the next one. I want to imagine the blog with seventeen comments 70/30: for over against. I don't want to have just your average blog. I want a blog that explores the deep mysteries of life. I want to stand with John Cameron Swayze and witness the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat, keep the old watch ticking even in the face of the disappointment of having no comments.