Monday. I am up but I don't like it. When I'm president, if I ever push the button, it will probably be on a Monday. I can practically guaranty that I won't, though. I mean, what would be the point. It's not that I'd be soft on terror or anything like that, but even a moderate thermo-nuclear exchange, a dozen good size cities or so, you get a winter that last decades and three quarters of the planet starves to death and you can't make any money like that, especially if your dead. It's just not cost productive so ten to one, I wouldn't do it. And then there's the whole God thing. As a cosmic parent He's allowed are room to get messy, but I don't think He's going to actually let us torch it.
Speaking of not being soft on terror, I pledge to continue the cabinet level position of the Department of Homeland Secretaries, and am actively pursuing candidates. Coffee brewing is a must. We must after all remain vigilant and how you do that without coffee is a mystery to me, especially on Mondays.
I am also proud to announce my selection for vice president, Karen of Karen's Journal, graduate of some Podunk college somewhere, and former Iowa "congressional aid." As my vice presidential running mate her duties will be to look good in front of the camera, get me some votes I wouldn't otherwise get, and hopefully not screw anything up until after the election.
Remember. No bull.
1 comment:
As your Democratic running mate (I'm assuming we're a Democratic ticket unless we start our own party) we'll have to keep my Baptist college years a secret. Not sure the Dems are ready for a former fundamentalist as a veep.
A homeless guy once told me I look like Hillary Clinton. He was drunk and delusional, but hey, if it's true it might help our chances a bit. Americans may not be ready for a woman president, but they might be ready for a woman VP. I'll have to start wearing dowdy pant suits.
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