Alterior motives

I'm planing on starting to work out this week. I go to Bally's. I'm allowed to use the machines I can sit down on, other wise I might fall over. My left isn't bad. It's weak from doing nothing but carry me around since the beginning of January. My right, on the other hand? It's like only that side of my body had the stroke. My left is weak because my right has been dragging it down. So my body is kind of schizophrenic right now.

The gauge I'm using to judge my strength right now is a gallon of milk in that I can't pick one up off the counter. That's a strength issue. I don't think I could pick up a half gallon. Maybe, maybe not. My right leg is stronger than my arm. It was less affected by the stroke. I' don't have a strength gauge for it yet. When I go to the club I can sit in one of those weight machines and see how much it pick up. Right now, all I can say is the other day I kneeled down on it, or rather tried to kneel down on it and I fell over. I'm fine. I just kind of rolled over. The point is it wouldn't hold me up.

There is also the range of motion issue. I seem to have full range in my leg, but I can't lift my right foot all the way. I have a hinge foot brace that helps keep my toes from dragging. It not too bad. It has a tendency to get worse when I get tired. All my symptoms do that. I also have good and bad days and things are a little harder on the bad days. My arm does not have full range of motion. I can lift it a little more than parallel to the ground. That's were the old rotator cuff injury comes in. We're, Julie my occupational therapist and me, aren't sure if it's the pain from that keeping me from raising my arm more. Next week Monday, a week from today, I get a shot of cortisone in my shoulder, which should clear up the pain. Then we're hoping I can make significant progress with lifting my arm.

This does nothing, however to address the strength issue. You do understand that until January fourth I was a construction worker. As much as I would like to admit I am totally secure in my manhood, the fact that I can't lift a half gallon of milk from my counter top is quite disconcerting and, to put it bluntly, I don't like it at all. The weakness of my body is a constant awareness I carry around with me. I know intellectually I am getting stronger by the day just walking around and doing every day thing but it pisses me off that I have to struggle to lift a full glass of water. I'll get my strength back. I know that, but I'll let you know right not it's not going to come back any where near fast enough for me.

And, did I mention the driving test I have to take?

So, have I made you all sympathetic. Good. Somebody cough up an elliptical machine.