The Continuing Adventures

Yesterday went petty good, though I couldn't figure out how to insert a character when I was spell checking so if anything posts misspelled I'm blaming it on that and that will be the official excuse until I get my own laptop back.

I talked to a doc yesterday and he strongly recommended I wait another month and a half until I start driving. He said I'm doing very well in my recovery and that if I took the driving evaluation test I might pass it, however, since it's only been a month and a half since I had the stroke, he would rather I wait. It seems there's a high risk factor the first three months of another stroke, seizures, mini-strokes, and some other things that could prove disadvantageous if they happened while I was driving. So that, in combination with the doc's recommendation and knowing what Jackie's, my wife, feelings would be upon hearing what the doc had to say, I agreed to put off the test until early April.

So that got me to pondering the gravity of the stroke event, and the place I have been knocked down too that I have to climb out of. It was kind of a holy s__t moment with the appropriate amount of sadness and fear attached.

Don't get me wrong. I am not depressed. I am fully aware of the extraordinary speed at which I am recovering, and I am aware, or rather believe that that recovery is directly related to the number of you who are praying for me. But it was a sobering moment. My humanness is up in my face real close. It fragility become very apparent from this view and I'm not quite sure what to make of it yet. What is obvious right away is the finite nature of existence. I may not know what it is, but there is an expiration date, there is an urgency to it all.

What comes up for me then is, I aint done yet. I have things to say and do. The whole looking death in the face thing is proving to be a powerful motivational push, right now manifesting itself in my writing.

It is also kind of freaky because every time I feel something in my head I wonder if I'm having another stroke. I supose it will take a while to get used to having head aches without having the little momentary freak out.

So, like I was saying, I feel I have a lot left to do and I'm not quite ready to cash it in. I mean I'm thinking three or four novels at least, short stories, essays, poetry, not to mention Kilimanjaro and this 80/90 mile hike I want to take on the Continental Divide Trail in south west Colorado, and I've always wanted to see Victoria Falls, and there's this crazy idea I have of airlifting Jackie so we can spend some time in the middle of some wilderness some where. That and I haven't mentioned the Harley Softail I just bought back when I thought I knew what my future income would be.

Anyway, I got a lot left I want to accomplish and I'm not ready, by a long shot, to give up yet so stay tune for the next exciting adventure.